It's been some time since ive played with this, my brothers just got the computer back up and running again, no telling how long before it's broken all over again. For those who dont know we are back in the house, we never stop being punished. What should be a very happy time for us, has turned out to be worrisome & exhausting, weve choose to make the best of things. I will most likely be returning to work soon, our finanical institue has been trying to drown us latley, so i figured i should jump back in the ocean with the big sharks to wrestle them all to the ground.
It's been a little over a year since i have had my son, and it's really strange how the days have gone bye. I feel like i have missed so much, taking on another job wont be easy either, first you feel like things are going to be alright, but eventually the spouses start fading apart, the kids start wondering where the heck is there mom, basically things get difficult. I am going to try and avoid confortation. I think having a mother at home is the best for any child & then i agree with mothers who have to make it by themselfs. My opinions are mine only & in all hopes that they do not offened anyone on here i just feel freely to speak about the wife & housemothers.
We threw a get to gether this weekend. quite strange actually, found out the neighbors true colors, but i had my brothers there protecting the BIGGER sister all the way. it's strange how things wind up. I wish magic truly exsisted, i could wave my magic wand and things would be alright, the pyscho's would be normal, the whores would have respect for themselfs and others, the loud mouths would turn it down a notch, we all have flaws i guess thats one of the biggest things huh? So i was talking with my husband the other night, things used to be so simple before Hurrican IKE.. that name just makes me quiver. I want to start going to church again. I am scared that if i do things will fall back out of place, we were so comfy before, we had a great church and friendly members, and my little girl just loved to be with other kids learning about "jesus" she always is talking about jesus, and even know im not a scholar in that subject i try and anwser all her questions she has... "mommy why does jesus live so far us there? "mommy why does jesus turn out the lights for the whole worls at night? really cute but yet smart questions, sometimes i reply with "one day baby we will all be able to ask him anything we want, so if you can be paitent and just trust that you'll get those anwsered things will work smoothly" she's alot like me, curious about everything and stuborn to the bone. I have repeated my self a hundred times today for her to get that room clean & she will let me waste my breath because she's know's it's going to irriate me so bad i'll end up cleaning it.. Hello, a little help jayleigh would be nice for mommy!!! I guess thats life, my husband called earlier and said he was going to surpise me with something for lunch i was like please done use your debit card, we dont have but like 2 dollars in the bank, i think it upset his figure and mentailty of a man that he is... upset because i ruined the surpise but heck had i let him gone through with whatever then 2 days later our account would be showing overdrawn.
Ciggerate prices went up, almost makes me want to quit. I mean i want to quit but i dont want to go through the actuality of letting the nicotine go forever. The days when i feel like i cant go on a ciggerate is a friend for the needy. It is like 7 dollars a pack now, so being there is no money in the bank im writing to help clear my mind of it... i guess it's not working too well considering im writing a paragraph about ciggerates. LOL!
The yard is disastrious... straight torn up, but i spoke to our insurance company who i think is going to replace the grass and dirt that was torn up because of the machinary that was brought in to remove the tree's. That is one positive.
I am getting so desperate for money now! I cant stop stressing about anything. which is one more reason i smoke. It seems like i have bundles of stress lying on my shoulder that i just wish would roll off. i guess thats life though.
I will write tomorrow. "bon voage for now"
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