Late Night thoughts.

I am always reminding myself, that everything will be ok. I didn't ever think I would end up in the shoes I wear, but that doesn't mean I cant enjoy the ones I have on. I am under what feels like more stress than I have ever had. Between being a full time Mom, Full time Job, and Full time Wife... .along with lots of friends that rely on my motivation & support, I've sort of lost myself and my sanity. And I do not want that to reflect on my smile & my happiness. I always knew I wanted a family, one that would be worth bragging about. I've noticed that sometimes you just have to accept the hand you where dealt with. My family is just my kids and my husband. WE ALL have bad days, but we have such GOOD ones too. Despite everything, I married my Husband, Brian McDonald because he opened doors for me in life, being the 11 year age difference, he's my first truest friend. My family doesn't care for him much, but that doesn't bother us, because we are all different people and I don't care much for there way of life. Some of them are Moochers, always calling when they need something. The other one that tried to play Mom in my Life, more or so emotionally imbalanced me. Thank you Lord though! Had they had been perfect as they could be, than maybe I wouldn't be as grateful as I am for what I have been given. I started a new job, and it's pressurized. First job I've ever accepted and walked into blind. I love the apartment business & not to sound coincident, I am actually pretty amazing at it. I love the customer one on one, and getting to meet new people everyday, and getting to stay in touch with ones you've watch create a home on site. It's a great feeling! My boss seems like she has lots of experience, just no schedule or coordination & sometimes the office pays for that. So if your like me, and once someone says something disrespectful or even slightly embarrasses you, it's hard to want to be at work everyday. I know she probably has a lot of great qualities as a manager, but I haven't seen anything worth bragging about. I normally continue to remain friends with every manager & supervisor I've ever had. So this is another new road I am walking down, and worried about. I need team mates, not a office full of drama & back stabbing. You should be able to trust your Co-Workers, because you spend more time with them a day, than you do your own family. I have got to believe God is watching out for me even know if feels like I am standing in the middle of a storm. I am his child and he knows what's best. I am giving myself a few months to read up on Anxiety and Handling it under pressure, and I also want to understand a little more why I care so much about what people think. I am looking for all book suggestions, and would appreciate something that I can fit and read into my schedule. Work tomorrow again, all weekend just to complete a last min HUGE job thrown my way, so getting off for now... and going to rest up some much needed peace. Sleep with Angels Jayleigh & Lane, Mommy loves you more than anyone or anything in this world. You are my forever & I will always support you. -Leah Bia