another day in this crazy mixed up world.

These past few weeks have been quite difficult. First, my wondering of where i had gotten in life left me enrolling in a small college program, after the hussle and hassle of all that i felt a little accomplished. Second, battering battle again leaves me confused and discouraged, my husband quit his job of two years, this has once again put my life on hold.. i now will figure out a financial dilema that we have accured. Third, Interview of interview for him have us wondering if jobs are ever going to hire. My anniversary of 4 years of marriage will be at the end of June, and what's a girl to do.. how do you celebrate something that has been such a battle?

My mind dose not work properly anymore, i find myself trying to figure a plan out for our hecktic agenda and yet wind up merely confused as where i should start.

My Children have been giving me a little more than problems lately, some say it's the age, or the new adjustment; I say it's the timing.. they know when to push buttons, when mommy's completley out of her elements... what do you think? there kids heck do they have that ability to know when things are going compeltley wrong? Do they mean to push and push? I have yet to figure that one out.

Simple things have me upset, for instance, looking at my car mileage yesterday really upset me, i bought the car with 140,000 miles and have owned it for 6 months, i bought it because supposidly lexus have the ability to be driven if tooken car of for up to 300,000 miles.. in six months i have put over 30,000 miles i am now at 176,000 miles only because i am the shoufer the one with the reliable vehicle. I feel used when i look at the mileage.. see, simple things like that upset me.

Being that my husband is TEMP OFF WORK, i feel that some of the chores around the house he could help with instead, once again i feel like i still hold my own weight.

To simply sit here and bitch does noithing for my self esteem or my mentailty.. i am the only one who can change the way i feel, only i control my emotions.. but how do i do that??

For now, Leah