Wednesday Afternoon...... Alone at last!

It's a Wednesday here, I am bored.. both children could not keep there eyes open therefore i laid them down, whats weird is i don't know if i can concentrate with out the noise. I have been driving my husband too and from work for the past week, after a disagreement with him taking my car. It's hard being stuck at home with just the thought that you know you cannot go anywhere, my life is filled with unexpected Arron's, any who. I just started the blog thing recently, i have been searching blogs from people all around the world it is quite interesting to see how others live, most of my blogs are just rambling & at times i wish no one knew i had one so i could almost express honesty on here. With me though if others were to know how i truly felt about things, they would be either shocked-mad-discouraged-glad-emotions we don't even know we have, I am just strange i have always felt that way in this world i do however know my place here on earth for the most part, i do not know what gods expectation's are beside try and do right by him and others, i try.. - but see i have so many burning roads that seem to overwhelm me, when i was younger i used to write alot in a what we all call a diary, it was healthy for me to express what i was feeling without having to hear what other people thought about it, i would simply write how i felt and it worked. some sunny or rainy day my wonderful step of a mother literally half the women that a mother is supposed to be, anyhow sore subject shorter, found or (went searching for) still haven't found out the truth behind it all discovered it, i was shamed what i thought was secrets between me and a friend was more humiliating evidence that i was not following or doing right by god, in fact i was far gone of the right road. Later on i had found out that my boyfriend and best friend had relations behind my back not only was i humiliated for what my FATHER had found out..but humiliated from everyone who knew what he and her had done. At that point in my life i think i gave up on hope, trust & true love. Here i am, almost 4 years later, i love & i trust and i hope that things will get better. Just to share a bitter part of my childhood with you that could let you all see who i have become now.
more to share with you later.. off to pick up my husband.